Flames

I knew you had to be part of my story,
so I began scratching words into paper
under your candlelight
on nights I wanted the wax
to cover the fairy-tale fantasies
in a thick coating
to hide the storyteller’s impossible dreams.
I wanted real,
which is why I forgave you
when you plunged from my dresser,
and set fire to the we
I was creating
in gasoline-tinted ink,
and created a fire so bright,
I had to close me eyes to see it.

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Burning

He had a soul of embers and a heart of ash.
The smoke filling my lungs when we kissed
became an addiction. His love was given to
me with a  singed tongue, but I’d come to
crave the way it seared my heart. The heat
was comfort, contrasted my iced eyes,
glazed over with gasoline. That night I
cried, I forgot to blink away, leaving me to
live in the aftermath of his explosion.

Forever and Ever

*Not very well written*

Three tears, two years, one fear

Thoughts wrap around an unsuspecting throat like a rope of broken promises.

Jaw clenched, cheeks drenched, gut wrenched

Apologies bursting from the seams, trying to explain what you mean to me.

I’m sorry this time, temporary goodbye, someday we’ll be fine, just promise for now that you won’t let love die.

I know we can’t talk, but we’re not made of chalk, outlined on the pavement but unable to be washed away.

Fears become real as the seal covering my anxiety snaps and I can’t see.

I just wanted to be happy with you and me, eternity, but now the skies bleed from my insecurities.

So, we hope, in order to cope, with the downward slope of being alone.

Three tears, two years, one fear

I’ll see this through, wait for you, I love you times two.

Movie Magic

Now playing: loneliness
Starring: Me
Guest Starring: You

 

Rewind

 

“I love you. Forever and always, I promise.”

 

Pause

 

I wish I could rewind
And freeze at that time
When you still meant that line

 

You Said You’d Grow Old With Me

This poem was inspired by the song You Said You’d Grow Old With Me by Michael Shulte.

Didn’t say goodbye

You just left me behind

With every pass of time

I lose more of my mind

One last word

Cure some of the hurt

Now I’m asking why

You promised forever

When you really meant never

You said you’d grow old with me

And while you live in peace

It’s the future I can’t see

What happened to what we would be?

You said you’d grow old with me

But here I am getting stuck

While you’re out growing up

Ignoring every plan we made

Moving on; living your life

I’m stuck repeating the same line-

You said you’d grow old with me

You Control My Weather

I never knew

I needed you

Until you came

And made me sane

You cleared the rain

And took my pain

You made me feel

Something so real

But now you’re gone

You took the sun

I want to run

But I’m stuck

In the mud

You created

When you left

Still Searching

Terribly torn

Undeniably worn

Looking for the one

Who makes me inexplicably warm

Dry

They asked me who I talk to

being home-schooled with no social media.

They did not believe me when I said,

“I talk to blank pages

and through the characters I read about.”

They asked if I ever get lonely

So I spoke,

“All the time;

When ink dries up,

words won’t spill,

and pages run out.

I am most alone when

my mind is starved of words

written or typed upon paper.

That is when it is the worst;

When the river of literature dries up,

and my mind is suffering the heatwave of thoughts

during a summer’s drought.”