Thinking

Thinking was never my greatest subject in school. It would travel off the task to darker places than what was assigned, but my friend became the teacher, and I’m confident I passed this exam. They told me they believe I’m addicted to the pain, afraid to get better, then asked me why I surround myself with the poetry and music. No beats are missed when I tell them my answer in three parts;

I. I read the poems in search for the comfort in knowing there are others with the same pains, struggles, and frustrations. That I am not alone in every thing I feel, think, and overthink. I love the realness every metaphor can hold.

II. I listen to the music for the same beautiful relationship between the lyrics and my life, carried along by the sounds they create.

III. I write not to be trapped by the pain, but to release it, turn it into something other than everything trapped in my brain, to keep me going until the next good day.

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14 thoughts on “Thinking

  1. Once after a month long holiday, my teacher asked us to draw a pie chart depicting things we did in summer. I drew a big chunk of section for “Thinking”. Obviously people laughed but thats what I did. Laid on my bed , staring the ceiling just getting lost in thoughts. Mostly I would think of abstract thoughts then out of nowhere i get steered to dark parts. That was not my favourite thing to do but its gravity is like getting trapped by a ferocious black hole sucking you into singularity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you win ‘best comment.’ Not sure why I enjoyed reading this so much, but thank you for reading. Though it may have been seen as a ridiculous answer, it was truthful for many too scared to make it an answer, and I admire that you were one to write it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you marysa. In the end, It’s not always a bad thing to have bad thoughts. What matters is we don’t give into it. If I were given a choice to eliminate the process of bad thinking, I would hesitate. Ofcourse I hate having those but its the very thing that makes us rational beings, the ability to differentiate between good and bad comes only when we go through the pain of it

        Liked by 1 person

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